Rewards

Rewards are great, do not get me wrong, but I have a few “cautions” for parents. Rewards should  be special so I encourage parents not to be too generous or frequent with their rewards, especially in the beginning. If you start out buying a $20 toy for your child on the first day of school because they had a great day ,you may go broke continuing this.Every GOOD day does not need to be rewarded with an ice cream ,candy  or a trip to a toy store.  Maybe it is just me but I expect kids to follow rules  and be “good”  . I don’t dish out “ stars and stickers” all day long for good behavior .  Bribing will get exhausting. So parents, have a plan right from the beginning . I would  suggest starting with a special low cost ” treat” on  Friday. It does not have to be a treat that costs money , it can be a play time at a park, a playdate  or a special activity with you or the family . Make sure it is of value to your child and easily accomplished .Trust me at this age ,you can make a lot of simple things seems like they are the greatest thing on earth !!! It is all in how you present it so build it up !!! Even as adults, we all love that something to look forward to at the end of the week .

I would assume, if the teacher does not have a daily or weekly communication system, no news is good news. Even if your child confesses about a rough spot, the fact that they are being honest ( and the teacher has not contacted you ) I call this a good day.  Parents try your hardest to be consistent and stick to your plan. Your child is unlikely  to let you forget the reward but it is your job to make sure if your child did not earn the reward, you do not let them convince you to change the plan.  Let them  cry , shut down any negotiation attempts and  try not to give in – Consistency is the hardest thing as a parent. Remember  Rule #1 – you are the boss. ( see Mantras for 3 rules) 

PS

Do you know what your kids love the most? You! So … don’t underestimate time with you as a reward!!! At pick up many adults  are distracted . Adults are chatting , they are on phones  or they may have siblings in tow . At pick up ,biggest reward you can give your child is to be present whether it is after class or after day care. Not just physically present  but focused present. Give your child a few minutes of your undivided attention to tell you about the day, ask about  the one new thing they learned, ask questions and let them ask you things. We are all so busy getting off to the next activity or location, try not to miss these few minutes to connect with your child. Really listen, study their face, read their emotion and be interested in their story .If it is easier to wait until you are alone and not in the big group that’s fine but create the habit of a few minutes of day of talking and being present with your child .